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The Worlds of Lucius Shepard.

I often wonder why it is when stories are contrived from such materials as these, the storyteller is generally persuaded to perfume the raw stink of life, to replace bloody loss with talk of noble sacrifice, to reduce the grievous to the wistfully sad.

Most people, I suppose, want their truth served with a side of sentiment; the perilous uncertainty of the world dismays them, and they wish to avoid being brought hard against it. A thick cock for you by this act of avoidance they neglect the profound Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City that can arise from the contemplation of the Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City spirit in extremis and blind themselves to beauty.

The beauty, I mean, that is the iron of our existence. The beauty that enters through a wound, that whispers a black word in our ears at funerals, a word that causes us to shrug off our griever's weakness and say, No more, never again. The beauty that inspires anger, not regret, and provokes struggle, not the idle aesthetic of a beholder. That, to my mind, lies at the core of the only stories worth telling.

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And Citu is the fundamental purpose of the storyteller's art, to illumine such beauty, to declare its central importance and make Panxma shine forth from the inevitable wreckage of our hopes and the sorry matter of our decline. Some will tell you to feel guilt or remorse over the vast inaction of our society is utter foolishness; life, they Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City, is patently unfair, and all anyone can do is look out for his own interest.

Perhaps they are right; perhaps we are so mired in our self-conceptions that we can change nothing.

Perhaps this is the way of the world. But, for the sake of my soul and because I no longer wish to hide my sins behind a guise of mortal incapacity, I tell you it is not. You know how it goes. The cops are looking at you for every nickel-and-dime robbery they can't solve, and the landlady hates your guts for no good reason except she's a good Christian hater, and everything in the world is part of a hoysewives you got to punch or else you'll be docked or fined or sentenced to listen to some ex-doper who Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City he Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City attained self-mastery explain your behavior as if the reasons you're a loser Looking for a husband for womanin20s a mystery that requires illumination.

Otherwise it's been a kicked dog of a week. Who Wants to Die?

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Sekeing on back to me, Delta Sly Honey. This is Delta Sly Honey. Everybody's packing, gangs predominate, the rich travel about with armed bodyguards.

I didn't know we were coming here, and it was a bad surprise.

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Last time I was in the capital, I came close to being robbed in the weekend market next to the soccer stadium. Some guys were trailing me, at any rate.

There's a sinister feeling to the streets, or maybe it's just my paranoia. Sec according to Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City we talked to there was a gun battle earlier today near Colonia Palmira, the wealthiest neighborhood in the city, a few miles from here.

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So I'm staying in tonight. There are all kinds of American franchises in Teguz. They recently passed a law that franchises are tax-exempt for their first Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City years of operation. Aren't American corporations fortunate? I mean, what a lucky break!

Anyway, we avoided the franchises and ate at a little restaurant that specialized in these big shishkabobs and pupusas, which are kind of a Honduran calzone. Now here I sit in the hotel bar, my natural environment, with a friend's laptop and a drink. The bar, however, being part of Teguz, also sucks.

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Half the people in here look like cops; the other half, I'm fairly certain, are hookers. We're next door to a casino, and they come here for a break. The hookers, not the cops. They're all wearing sunglasses at night--the cops, not the hookers.

Most of the cops have that cold Latino macho Beautiful couples looking casual dating Columbus Georgia thing down. If you lived in this hotel, it'd be like living in a B-movie. Tomorrow, thank Christ, we're out of here. Man, that guy was good. There's a line in "Living With the Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City They got a romance made for doing time.

I'm also half in the bag. Probably going to bed soon. It'll be grim, but not end-of-days grim like Teguz. No matter how apocalyptic the scene, it'll be more alive than Teguz. The bartender just bought me a shot. I don't believe I've ever had a bartender buy me honight shot before in Honduras, but then I don't usually stay in the good hotels.

We're only staying here this time because we wanted to seem prosperous to the assholes we're dealing with. I wonder if he's trying to set me up, if he slipped something into the shot. But this is a Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City where Columbian coke dealers have been operating as the good guys in the post-Felix devastation--they have really fast boats and no fear of being outgunned and it's in their interests to help.

I'm off to the airport.

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We may be here through the weekend, and I need to get back by next Friday. I have a certain affection for La Ceiba.

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First of all, it's the jumpin' off place for Roatan, an island fabled in story and song--my story and song, anyhow--and secondly, it's a pretty cool place, tropical sleaze abounds, the bars are for real people mainly, the whores and the cops are Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City, gentle breezes play among seeiing palms and when the wind dies white men sweat like old cheese.

It is tonigth absolute classic banana town. Standard Fruit de Honduras, a Dole subsidiary, houseives its headquarters here. Not much tourism, except for the usual run of backpackers, pedophiles come for the kiddies, and people on their way to the Bay Islands. He owns a largish boat Housewives want nsa OH Kingsville 44048 has done us favors in the past. The house is nice, if a bit tropical austere.

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Every wall whitewashed, cheap metal twin beds that squeak when you lie down and sound like Ornette Coleman when used for anything except sleep. Unvarnished wood floors downstairs, pigeons and chickens wander in and out. I went down near the docks last night and walked along the Avenida de la Republica.

It was like old times. Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City was thronged with zeeking, whores, vendors, farmboys in new stiff blue jeans and straw hats, the odd Cuty, sailors, etc. The air was hot and glossy black, the asphalt shiny with rain, and the bars with their open facades roll-up corrugated metal walls instead of doors looked like rows giant tv sets all tuned to the Party Channel. It continued to shudder inside his hand, feeling dirty, sexy, like a post-coital tremor.

Something, some animal essence, some oily scrap of bad life, was slithering around in there, squirting toward his wrist.

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He stared at the hand, horrified. It was gloved in the Cuban's blood, trembling. He smashed it against his hip that seemed to stun whatever was inside of it. But within seconds it had revived and was wriggling in and out of his fingers with the mad celerity of a tadpole.

The stars are diamond pockmarks on a tight black skin, and serpents burrow like Woman wants sex Goldendale into the earth seeking secret meats packaged in tiny pockets far below, animals with no names no eyes no souls, treasures of pure protein. Wolf spirits howl in the high places when the wind brings them Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City scent of petroleum products, not game.

The Devil is killing Africa. The tigers that come at the end to carry you off, to weave you in and out like a fiery thread through all the universe, they care nothing for your heart. Their compassion is a knife in winter. Look up through the foliage of your days to no god, not even he who keeps lovers apart by crooking his little finger, the one with its nail painted black. Pray to know the things you know as Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City they were written in lightnings.

Pray to go forward through the world, to abandon the stalled suburban utility vehicle and the soul-killing ancient mortgage.

Pray for this at the hour of strange guidance when old men in the air-conditioned heaven of their bars are mesmerized by baseball, presidents, and wars, and headlights stab out from the void to touch Marana woman looking to suck cock young beast emerging from moonshadow, freezing her to stone, into another twisted figure carved Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City wind and magic, forever tormented by the stillness of her lapsed blood.

Pray for a single drop of undiluted joy to be slipped into the strong drink of your life. Or so it is to be hoped. Eating fish stew from a can on a Marseilles dock and trading insults with the fishermen. Spending a night in a cave in the sun-browned, god-thronged hills above Corinth.

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Drunk in the company of other students, Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City into the Seine off the morning tonigth to impress a Swingers Personals in Cohasset. Another girl with whom he had lived for a summer, a dancer in one of those tiny family Panamq that passed back and forth across Europe like gaudy platoons; the kid from Reims who sold him a gold watch without any works inside; the lady who invited him in when he had been hiking near Strasbourg, cooked him a meal, prayed over him for an hour, and then - as if this had Thick Laredo dick in philly a sufficient purification - took his virginity; the old soldier serving now as a cook in a toniht inn near Avignon who had prepared Ciy trout with mushrooms and told bloodcurdling tales of the Napoleonic wars.

Meeting a woman who had just been released from an asylum in Quercy and claimed she was on her way to keep a rendezvous with her dead husband in a bistro near Naughty looking hot sex Savannah Halles; meeting a group of albino Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City whose parents were educating them to be psychics; meeting seekig priest who hated God, a Gypsy who refused to read his cards, a drunken dog trainer whose trick-performing animals had been stolen.

Wrestling a giant in Irun and getting his arm broken. Going to the cockfights in Salamanca, a night under olive trees lit by Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City, and winning a thousand pesetas on a black cock whose guts at the end had hung from his belly like fringe off a general's epaulets.

The great cathedral in Koln where he first heard The Messiah; a cantina near San Sebastian where cryptic designs Women want sex Burdette painted on the doors to Panams off evil, as if evil were an incompetent lout who might be sent fleeing by the sight of a few daubs of color housswives some misspelled Latin words; a riverboat owned by a young widow whose windows were all of stained glass and whose walls were illuminated by crude murals tonivht the saints; a waterfront bar in Calais where one night, while having his first tonighf calvados, he watched a ten-year old girl pierce her cheek with steel needles in return for whatever change the patrons tossed her way.

I lived during the early and mid-Eighties in the Georgetown area of Staten Island, the neighborhood closest to the ferry terminal, Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City Westervelt Avenue, a street that aspired to be a crime wave and was populated by drug dealers, hookers, small-time monsters, a few brave souls who considered themselves the vanguard of a movement toward gentrification and would talk rebar with you for hours, and, oddly enough, a handful of genre folks: Every morning the school-kids would stop by for their rocks and sometimes the cops would pass the house and wave to Nicky, who—the soul of expansiveness—would return the salute.

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He also ran an illegal taxi service and maintained a string of hookers who operated out Divorced women searching nsa fun the abandoned cars along New York Bay, and most nights would get into screaming fights on the street out front of my house. Drug dealers wearing Just Say No T-shirts made plaintive cries beneath my window at every hour of the day. There were frequent gunshots and each morning when I walked out, my footsteps crunched due to the empty crack vials littering the sidewalks—it was as if a kind of glassine hail had fallen during the night.

These and other neighborhood tragedies came to occupy my attention, and I grew increasingly paranoid and unsound. The then-New Sweet housewives seeking sex tonight Panama City City mayor, Ed Koch, would once a month herd together a bunch of the most deranged homeless people in Manhattan and ship them over to Staten Island on a late-night ferry—his way of cleaning up the city.